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10:39 PM - Monday, December 21, 2009

Today nothing much happen. I just went to school to register for sec5 with ernie. Den we meet ee. She have her malay dance practice in school. The malay dancer were practicing for CCA open house and speech day. I love to see ee dance. So beautiful. haha! Ernie and i waited for ee to finish her dance practice. After her dance, we went to sembawang shopping centre to eat at the banquet. I ate wantan noodle while ernie and ee ate mee rebus. hee(: so delicious. haha. Dah lapar sgt2 sey. Ape2 pun bedal;) Den we went window shopping around the shopping centre. It was fun though. Den i went to meet azneil and khairi at admiralty. We just lepak around admiralty den they followed me back home. We just lepak outside my house. After that they went home. Till here peeps. I'll update again tomorrow(:

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8:29 PM - Sunday, December 20, 2009

Today i went to johor with my family because today was my uncle's wedding day. I so in love with the decorations. Its so beautiful. The theme colour was pink and white. I love the bride's dress. Lawa gile sey!(: I spend my whole day singing at the DJ site. I sing through out the wedding ceremony. My uncle and i conquer the DJ. haha. I keep singing to make myself awake. If not, i'll be sleeping i guess. haha:P im tired the whole sey. I dun have enough rest after yesterday's dance competition. I feel so restless at my uncle's wedding. That's why i conquer the karaoke session. hee. I did enjoy myself singing:) till here peeps. I want to take my rest today:) i'll update more about my life okay. Toodles!

11:12 PM - Saturday, December 19, 2009

Happy Birthday To You!
Happy Birthday To You!
Happy Birthday To Azneil!
Happy Birthday To You!

Happy 16th Birthday Azneil! Wish you all the best in everything you do! Good luck in the future ahead okay! I want to see you succeed in life! And good luck for your 'O' levels results!(:

Today was the H2O dance competition. I'in, sidik, remy, raimi, fadli and fariz slept over my place last night. We had our last dance practice at 1+ am. We just go through things that we are unsure. I know its like crazy that we train in the morning but its a competition sey. hmm. I was so stress up for the last practice as they push me like hell. hmm. nasib nasib. We went out at 8 am in the morning from my place. We wait for fariz at admiralty cause he went home to get ready and take his stuff. We waited for him like punya la lame. I dunno what the hell his doing at home. He reached admiralty at 9am. hmm. We are super late. Remy needs 2 hours for the make up. hmm. We reached mediacorp at 10+. While walking, I saw bungalows. Fuyoo! besar lah sey. haha. and the bungalows were so beautiful. Sakit mate memandang. haha(: okay back to the topic. When we reached at the reception, remy make up for me straight away. I know he will need lots of time to make up for me. After everything, we saw other dances step into the reception. All of them are not new faces people. We saw them before. hmm. Im scared:( we went through our routine. Fariz scolded me when i did wrong and i cry. Habis make up aku. haha;) but i dun blame fariz scolding me lah. I know its my fault. We waited for our turns. Kiwek! punye lah lame! All of us getting restless sey. aiyoh. After hours of waiting, finally its our turn. scary sey. When we step into the dance room, im so shivering. The room is full of mirrors sey and there are 3 judges. 2 women and 1 guy . While we dancing, I can see from their body language that they really enjoy our routine and the remix. phew! after everything we went to eat cause we have not eaten for the whole day. Now, we have ti wait for the results by email. So scary sia!
Here are pictures that been taken on that day(:


Gegerl & I'in

Gegerl & Fadli

Tak pecah Fadli! haha! Muke mak nye! hee(:

I love the make up! Thanks Remy:)


4:53 PM - Friday, December 18, 2009

First of all, im happy that today im getting my results for 'N' levels. Happy but at the same time im scared too. Im so shivering when i step in the hall waiting for my results. My year master told the whole NA cohort that more than half of the students were promoted to sec5. Im so sacred that point of time. Im the 2nd person to take the results. You know what? I'be made it to sec5! Yahoo! Im so happy that finally i get what i want. Alhamdulillah! aku syukur banyak2(:

The next thing im so happy was. I get to meet him today. haha(: I know its lame but im super happy you know. haha. I get to hug him tightly again and again. Im so freaking happy right now at this minute. hee. I thought of going to his gig but then today i have my last dance practice to prepare for tomorrow competition. hmm. OMG! My dance competition is just tomorrow. Im so worried! Till here peeps(:

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12:31 AM - Thursday, December 17, 2009

I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
Cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole in love thing
And someone can say they love me truely
But at the time it didn't mean a thing

This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now i'm, in this condition
And i've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

Did it happen when we first kissed
Cause it's hurting me to let it go
Maybe cause we spent so much time
And I know that it's no more
I shoulda never let you hold me baby
Maybe why i'm sad to see us apart
I didn't give to you on purpose
Gotta figure out how you stole my heart

How did I get here with you, i'll never know
I never meant to let it get so, personal
After all I tried to do, stay away from loving you
I'm broken hearted, I can't let you know
And I won't let it show
You won't see me cry

Wanna know something? Finally he text me! Im so happy. But after that he didnt reply me back):
This is what he text me..

Me: Good night a****l!:) sorry to disturb you sleep;)
Him: hey. sorry i havent been talking to you much. been busy getting ready for my gig. ):
Me: Ouh.hmm.its okay.i've been waiting for your msg all this while.im so happy that you text me today after a week had pass:) and i have been missing you so much!:(
Him: (: Goodluck for your results later on.
Me: Yeah.thanks.but im scared

That's what exactly he text me. hmm):

12:00 AM - Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Today, i went out to make my mind release from thinking. I went to town with my friends. All the way to town, i kept thinking of him. I miss going out with him. haish. I feel so down these days. All in my mind was just him. nothing else. I cant stop my tears from falling down my cheeks. I know its no use for me to cry for him but people just dun understand how i really feel. I tell you how. It feels like half of your is gone and will never come back. Its painful if it really doesn't come back. hmm. How i wish he will come back to me. in the sense that he'll be contacting me again. haish. His features will always run in my mind no matter how i tried to remove it. Only god knows how i really feel. I may look happy from the outside. Laughing my ass off but the inside is still painful as it feels from the start. hmm. That's why love is so painful. I miss him so much! I just need a message or a call from him. That will be enough for me. I wont hope do much from him as he already had a girlfriend. At first, he told me not to stop our friendship but now what happen? He's the one who stop contacting me. That's why now i feel sad and at the same time disappointed. Now, its hard for me to trust words from a guy. If i trust so much, i'll be in pain in the end. haish):

"Relaku terus setia,
menyayangimu,
menyintaimu,
walau berjauhan,
relaku terus setia,
Termenung bila sendirian
mengunung seribu halaman
moga kau mengerti
bila nadiku terhenti"

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11:21 PM - Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I feel so lonely after a week that someone had not been contacting me. I feel so sad and miss him so much! Really! I miss his laughter, smile, smell and his craziness. The most i miss in him is his warm cuddly hug. haish): I cant force him to contact me as he already had a girlfriend. Now, i fall for him already. Im in love with him because he's kind , nice, fun and a person that i can lend a shoulder to cry on but now it just fade away without a word. haish. I feel so terrible and my heart broke into pieces. Oh god!): I can understand that he already had a girlfriend and he is busy with his life. But i just need one message or call from him. I'll be happy for that. I just want to know your condition and how are you doing now. hmm. Just one message or call will be enough. For now, im just a broken-hearted girl that always her every tears fall down her cheek. What can i do now is to just pray for his safety and hope that he will did great in his precious life. I never want to see you unhappy. I want you to have a great future and have a special friend that can treat you great. Even though my heart breaks, you will always be in my mind. I will always think of you every time i catches my breath. To me, you are my sunlight that guide me through my darkness but you are just my hopeless dream. haish. I have to accept that this is my fate. hmm. I just feel so sucks that you just suddenly stop contacting me. Even im busy with my dance and cheer, i still text you but i didnt received any from you. hmm. Oh god! Why i always been hurting so much. I cant take it anymore. Oh god! Please forgive me!

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11:11 PM - Thursday, December 3, 2009

Today i have my dance practice at RP as per usual. Even though i just came back from my holidays and i feel tired, i have to train myself for the upcoming competitions. Before practice i met my sweets. I hug him so tightly and dun feel like letting him off. After that, he accompany me to my dance practice. How sweet! haha! love him lots lah. I meet all my friends and im totally sick. I think i sick its because the environment at M'sia. haha! damn M'sia! I feel so releaved that im back in Singapore and i miss all my friends and mostly of my precious sweets!=)

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2:25 AM - Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Hey my lovely peeps! Im back in Singapore safely. My holiday trip was a bomb but i miss someone so much! hmm. Okay drifting! haha. Back to my holidays, first we went to my cousin's place because my cousin is getting married. My family and i have to cook for the ceremony like as per usual. Hmm. What a holiday right. We have to cook when our plan is to have holidays there. Anyways, after the ceremony we clean all the mess that the invited people make. haha. M'sia btol;)
and its raining. Like OMFG! It rains heavily. My family and i drenched in the rain. We were freezing in the rain while cleaning the mess. hmm but we have fun:)

The next day we pack our stuff and off to Perak. We bringing my grandma to meet her foster brother there. Perak was not a bad idea at all. First i thought i might get bored there but i didnt. I enjoy myself there but in my heart i miss someone in Singapore:( hmm. What can i do right. We reached in the afternoon like almost 6pm. We rest ourself first then we went out with the Perak family to go and eat as we are starving. We went to eat seafood at the side of the sea. The seafood are all fresh. Yummy! Then we went to karaoke. haha. Random sia! The karaoke was not indoor. It was outdoor. Like OMFG! We are singing and everyone one at the cafe was watching lah. Scary sey! That was my first time singing in public. haha. My father also enjoy singing. Im happy to see all my family members enjoying themselves:) The following day we went to Teluk Batik. We went to the sea. The younger siblings mandi2 pat laut and someone of us just look after them. There's a horse there. I never seen a horse in my real life before. I only see them at the television. Its so beautiful but too bad. I cant stand the smell so i didnt take photo with the horse. My two cousins and i went to see monkeys at the end of the shore. The monkeys are so cute cum scary lah. the face so seram like nak mkn org seyy. takut aku! haha. we feed them with rambutans that we brought from home. We took lots of pictures with them. They are like our new friends lah. haha. species same pe. hee;) After everthing we went home at Perak and rest. The next day we go mandi sungai at Ulu Kenas. Its a air terjun lah! Best kan! the place is like so damn cold lah because its surrounded by the mountains. I fall at the small dam and my body hurts alot but its fun though. haha. Phew! what a holiday right. We spend our holidays more at Perak cause Perak was great. We bought lots of new clothes until our bags are full to put it inside. haha! that's the funny part. The next day we went home. Home as in Singapore. Phew! tired but fun;)

Once i reached in Singapore, i text him. I miss him so much lah! cant wait to meet him the next morning! haha. He's the first person that i text when i reached in Singapore. den i called my close friends. He told me that someone miss me so much! haha. it was the guy that i like;) im so blush haha. I just cant wait to meet him!=)

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